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The Way Out of Psychic Numbing

“The Oakland fire happened basically right in my backyard,” my friend and co-doctorate-student Helena told me as we were waiting for class to begin. “And while it was so horrible,” she dropped her voice to a whisper, “I haven’t really felt anything about it. Maybe I would if I knew the people who were inside.…

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Group Therapy: The Magic of Coming Together

My new therapy group for women began on November 9th, 2016—the day after the election. In retrospect, it was risky. I truly thought that, on that Wednesday evening, this group of eight powerful and curious women would be gathering to celebrate the election of the first female president of the United States. That’s not what…

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Dear Trump Supporter Who Called Me a Cunt

This is what I know this morning, Post coffee, Pre wine, There is nothing like waking up to a private message from some guy you’ve never met, never had a one-night stand with, and whose profile picture is a cartoon version of himself. He felt the need to tell me IN ALL CAPS that I…

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How Abusers Get Away with It

Most psychotherapists work with people who have been abused, either recently or long ago. Some work with the abusers themselves, through court mandated treatment or, extremely rarely, because an abuser has has self-referred and is committed to their own recovery. In both instances, one cornerstone of therapist training is recognizing how abusers are able to…

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Why Did White Women Vote for Trump?

Oh god it happened. It happened and women like me, white women, made it happen. Within my liberal bubble, I keep using the phrase “I don’t understand.” I don’t understand how more than half of the white women in this country could have cast their vote for someone who makes the world less safe for…

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