THE REAL YOU
Unhappy Holidays
Therapists know the weeks between Mid-November and January 2nd to be one ginormous suck-fest. Pumpkin Spice makes its appearance and we start hearing people’s real holiday feelings: “This is my first holiday since my divorce, I don’t know how I’m going to survive it.” “I look back on this last year and have no idea…
Getting Comfortable With Boundaries: How (And Why) To Say No
Does saying “no” make you feel guilty? If so, you’re not alone. Maybe the idea of saying no, especially to close friends and family, makes you feel nervous about what the other person will think of you. Maybe you feel anxious that they’ll be upset with you, or that your boundary will hurt them somehow.…
How to Survive Your In-Laws During the Holidays
You needn’t look far to find examples of loving couples who become completely unraveled over the mere mention of spending time with the in-laws. Though the ding-dong of the in-law’s doorbell may sound like a relationship death knell, there are ways to survive (and even have fun…?) when visiting your partner’s family this holiday season.…
(Wo)man Versus Ex: Retroactive Jealousy and What to do About it.
Ever seethed with hatred over an ex-girl/boyfriend of your partner? Pilar Delano helps us understand and navigate the rough waters of retroactive jealousy.
Weightless Holidays: Fighting the War on Your Body
Winter is cold and rough. So, for centuries people have come up with ingenious ways to ride it out. We’ve built fires to gather around. We’ve learned how to preserve food that can’t grow in such a hostile environment. We’ve built narratives and rituals to comfort our souls and bring us together so we don’t…
On Being Present in the Moment
One of the most persistent themes in psychotherapy for the last 50 years has been a focus on the present moment. Starting with Fritz Perls and Gestalt Therapy in the ‘60’s we seem to have been working on trying to help our clients to articulate what was going on emotionally and physically in the moment…
Three Reasons Why Researchers of “Millennials” Can Kiss my Multi-Ethnic Ass.
The term “Millennials” has become all the rage since Neil Howe and William Strauss first coined it in 1991. This Millennial Generation, consisting of all of those born roughly between 1982 and 2004, have been poked, prodded, theorized and hypothesized about ad nauseum. From being our civic-minded saviors to our narcissistic downfall, overly coddled children…
The Damaging Effects of Power and Privilege, Part II: Internalized Discrimination
“When I look in the mirror, I see a dirty Mexican dyke.” Those words were spoken by “Alejandra,” a professional lesbian Mexican-American woman in her 50s. She is accomplished, successful, intelligent, and charming. Despite these qualities, she lives every day with an intense amount of underlying self-hatred and feelings of worthlessness. In her professional role,…
How to Get Someone to Go to Therapy
I love it when people tell me they don’t think they need therapy, because often it’s the telltale sign that they do. You might have someone in your life that you KNOW needs therapy. They might insist, after their millionth angry outburst, or perhaps coolly rationally while you are confused and crazy, that they’re fine…
Interview with Kevin Gordon about Shine On Short Film Series & Living For Unexpected Passions
Shine On opens people’s minds to the possible uses of their free time and inspires them to dig their old passions out of their closets!
How Much Should I Pay For Therapy?
Let’s be real. Money is, well… complicated. Dread. Shame. Desperation. Terror. Guilt. Frustration. Desire. Envy. These are just a few of the feelings that overtake us when considering our financial situation. None of us are immune to the emotional complexities that money stirs up. If you are in a relationship with another human being, money…
How Can Psychotherapy Help To Stop Climate Change? Twenty Therapists Answer
It seems that most psychotherapists are, like most people, just beginning to wake up to the dangers of climate change. More and more of us are starting to grapple personally and professionally with how we can help humanity transition to a life-preserving and truly sustainable society. To help us along, I asked 20 psychotherapists this…