THE REAL YOU
What’s Too Much?: Sex Addiction in the Digital Age
It’s getting easier to get laid. Geolocating social apps, messaging apps, and videoconferencing have made finding and having sex easier than it used to be. For some, this has been a great improvement – a faster way to meet new people, explore fantasies, and have lots of sex. For others the sexual digital age has…
The Damaging Effects of Power and Privilege, Part I: How Can You Not Like the Beatles?!
A friend of mine is a really, really big Beatles fan. Quite some time ago I reflected to him that I was not familiar with their music. Sure, I could name some of their more popular songs, but when challenged, that list was limited to about seven songs. Astonished and determined to rectify my ignorance…
Do Good or Make Money: Which Side are YOU on?
For those of us in the helping professions – therapists, social workers, psychologists – there is a split that divides us. It goes something like this: There are those of us who are in the field to “help people” and those of us who are just here to “make money.” Or at least that’s the…
Getting Comfortable with Discomfort, Part II: Relationship Triggers
In my first piece about getting comfortable with discomfort, I talked about painful triggers that White folks can have when confronted with systemic racism and White supremacy. Guess what- there are so many more ways we can be triggered, especially in our romantic relationships! I can hear your excitement now. Um- yay, relationship triggers? Well,…
Look at Me! Look at Me! (Spotlights and Shadows)
Most of us are dying to be seen – to be noticed, loved, and understood – whether or not we’re totally conscious of this. I always made a performance of it. As a little girl I’d joyfully entertain family guests with a song, as a teenager I dreamed of winning an Oscar, and as an…
Whoa-Man! A Fou Fou Ha Performance
“ Simply put, longing for the love of another is more so longing for the love of yourself, and when you can find that love, is when the mask can finally come off” – Closing speech of Whoa-Man! Four female clowns with three-foot tall iPhones looking for love. Twin shape-shifting male dream messengers entwined in…
Interview with Kelsey Crowe from Help Each Other Out on Empathy Etiquette
We all have impulses to help people who are hurting but Help Each Other out teaches true empathy etiquette that really helps.
Physician-Assisted Suicide, The Freedom of Ambivalence, and Why Our Heads are Round
I grew up with the saying “The head is round so that the thoughts can change direction.” When the debate around legislation permitting physician-assisted suicide in California hit the news lately, I was reminded of this saying when I examined my own thoughts and opinions around this law. As a member of the disability community,…
Depression and the Art of Savoring
Richard, a diligent type-A tech guy, who defended against his depression with unending work, sat on my couch and listed what he had accomplished this last week. After that, with barely a pause, he launched into his tasks for, and worries about, the upcoming week. Given his pace, when I asked him which of the…
The Overwhelming Nature of Burning Man
On a fundamental level, we are human beings with a nervous system. I prefer my excitement/anxiety in the middle of the road. Too much and I can feel my mind shutting down, reduced to the primitive protective state of shock/numbness. Too little and I feel stuck, unmotivated, existentially down. Finding a setting that matches my…
Getting to Yes to Find My No: One Woman’s Story About Not Having Kids
I’ve decided that I’m not having kids. As with any decision, there are losses. Sometimes I have a pang of sadness but mostly, it feels right. I was never someone who just knew I wanted kids. In my 20s when friends would tell me about really feeling the desire to have a family, I’d ask…
Interview with Julian Redwood and the Full Frontal Fatherhood Project
An Interview with Julian Redwood, Founder of Full Frontal Fatherhood, offering Free advice to dads via video talks.