Posts Tagged ‘Emotional Health’
Screens and Self-Control
Modern society struggles with self-control around the use of devices and technology. At home, if you parent, these struggles intensify as adults and kids react with irritability, anger and hostility when interrupted on a device, or told to turn off a device to do homework, get dinner made or get to bed. “It’s like my…
Ask for Help!
On this, the eve of the most horrifying presidential election in my lifetime, I would like to take this opportunity to admit that I cheated my way through my Civics class in High School. I took those classes by “correspondence.” In that age this meant you received a textbook in the mail, and you mailed…
How a Therapist Handles Her Inner Critic
When I was a younger adult, I had a scathing inner critic. It caused me all kinds of problems, which I handled in various maladaptive (read self-destructive) ways. That harsh internal voice mostly riddled me with anxiety which was so uncomfortable I looked for different ways to avoid feeling it–like partying, often with people I…
Why is it So Hard to Receive Support?
Letting others in is an ongoing process. As a therapist, I offer support for a living—yet taking in care from others is another story. I remember the a-ha moment when I first understood the reciprocal nature of support. Several years ago I attended a powerful community-based grief ritual. At the start of the intimate weekend,…
The Dark Side of Motherhood: It Does Get Better
When I was pregnant with my son, I was was incredibly anxious during the entire pregnancy. I had miscarried before and was so worried that my heart would be broken again that I was on constant alert. I felt that if he was born, I would do everything in my power be a good mother.…
Social Comparison: How Do I Stack Up?
Living in San Francisco in 2016 is enough to make the most well-adjusted individual grapple with inadequacy. If you look around, you are likely to see many highly educated, successful, productive and intelligent people. These folks seem to have it all: money, fitness and health, attractiveness, successful careers, loving relationships, well-behaved children, and time to…
Psychotherapy and the Fundamentals of Life
As a young person, I hated math. By the time I made it into 1st grade, I began to sense a connection between those drills, 100 problems in 90 seconds, and my own flimsy mortality. I decided early on that numbers were created for no other purpose than to torture the pure of heart and, thus,…
Understanding Depression: Void vs. Emptiness
Depression is a pretty odd thing, different from other “illnesses,” in that it ranges between very grungy and visceral experiences like fatigue, through problems with sleep and eating, and then into the lofty realms of the meaning of life. Well, I suppose to its credit, at least it’s not boring. Understanding depression calls us to…
Life Transitions, a.k.a., Life
The other day I was killing some time at a trendy coffee shop, enjoying my once-a-day caffeine romance, and I found myself inadvertently eavesdropping on two college freshmen bonding over the unexpected difficulties they were encountering in their new phase of life. Navigating a vast pool of possible topics, one of the women ever so…
Small changes are big changes
One November morning, when I was early in my graduate training to become a therapist, one of my professors stood at the front of the classroom, with his wild hair and even wilder eyes, and said slowly: “I want to talk to you all about something important.” The room fell silent. This man was known…
Preschool as Therapy: 5 great ideas for adult wellness
1. All feelings are allowed. At my child’s preschool, they have a saying: You have to get the bad feelings out to let the good feelings in. In therapy, we know there are no “bad” feelings. However, feelings such as anger, sadness and hurt don’t feel good, and they need expression. To express your true…
Laws for in-laws: why trouble in these relationships hurts, and what to do about it
“We were having lunch with my in-laws the other day and out of the blue my mother-in-law said, ‘I’ve decided I want to be cremated.’ I said, ‘Alright, get your coat.’” -D. Spivey Our culture has a lot of deeply hostile (and very funny) jokes about mother-in-laws—a sure sign that something important is going on underneath. Freud’s…