Posts Tagged ‘Relationships’
“This relationship is complete:” Changing the way we hold divorce and separation
Are all relationships meant to last forever? Considering how much we grow and change over time, individually and as couples, can we guarantee that we will grow in the same way and direction as our partner of five years, ten years or twenty years? Is it possible that some relationships, which we may have made…
Living and Loving in the Nation’s Most Expensive City
The San Francisco economy along with the challenges in modern relationships make the case for investing in therapy.
The “Being” of a “Good” Kisser
There is so much in a kiss: pleasure, intimacy, and connection. The mouth is built to receive and express. The lips, the door way of the mouth, are lined with a high number of nerves, where babies first receive nurturing and also explore their worlds. It is no wonder that kissing is the principal way…
A Message to the Last Single Lady in San Francisco
Many of us have been witness to the confusing phenomenon, which I will call the Accidental-Man-of-My-Dreams Syndrome, or AMMDS for short. It goes like this: Your best friend (or colleague or younger sister, or other single lady), declares she isn’t all that interested in settling down. She is happy focusing on the job that she…
Discouraging encouragement: the kind of praise that doesn’t help
As I was ignoring my children and zoning-out on the old Facebook for a time recently, I found myself considering a post from the Conscious Discipline feed. Conscious Discipline is all about attuning to our kids and bringing them up – can you guess? – consciously. It’s a wonderful resource for parents, for teachers and…
Don Draper falling forever: false advertising and the search for authenticity
Arguably the best TV drama of the last decade begins each week with a silhouette of a man in a perfect suit falling in slow motion from a skyscraper, through a boundless field of perfect ads for the perfect life. Mad Men centers on a very troubled yet relatable man who hides his real identity…
The check-in: an exercise to nurture intimacy and the tolerance of deep connection
In my experience working with couples, it’s not uncommon to find that partners have a considerable difference in their need or tolerance for emotional contact and intimacy. One partner may be more emotionally expressive and generally talkative, while the other may be less emotionally expressive and less comfortable with one-to-one contact with their partner. Contrary…
Energy theft: toxic forms of shame and guilt
[Democracy is coming] From the homicidal bitchin’/That goes down in every kitchen/To determine who will serve and who will eat. —Leonard Cohen, “Democracy” Sarah, 27, who is about to finish graduate school with a PhD in engineering, hates to call her mother…and does so, dutifully, and with dread, every week. Saturday mornings come with…
How to date without losing yourself: five fierce self love tools for women
Been on any good dates lately? Whether you’re swiping, winking, or chatting, one thing that most of us can agree on is that dating can really mess with your emotions; one week you are riding the wave of a potential connection, full of hope, your imagination launching into a future together; the next you are…
Self-Compassion and Love – Agents of Change
When I hear the saying, “Treat others as you would like to be treated” I can’t help but think we should also say, “Treat yourself as you would like others to treat you.” I witness over and over again in the therapy office how unkind we can be to ourselves and how this lack of…
The Power of the Therapeutic Relationship
Long-term depth-oriented psychotherapy is based on the notion that development is a relational process. Most people who come to therapy have had a less-than-optimal family environment where the development of the Self was thwarted. In long-term therapy, the therapist provides the client with a sort of “stand-in” experience for the parent who wasn’t adequately attuned to their child Self.
Being Single
If you are single, in one sense you are alone. And yet you are not alone. Many, many people, right now as you are reading this, are single right along with you. Unfortunately, there is a pretty potent stigma attached to this state of relationship. A lot of shame and yearning can come from not…