robertRobert Solley, Ph.D.

Dr. Robert Solley is a Senior couples therapist who trains new couples therapists as adjunct faculty at USF. Clients describe Robert as fair, empathic, steady, collaborative, grounded, and a very focused listener. One of the most frequent complaints from couples who have not had good experiences with other therapists is that the therapist let them continue their destructive negative interactions in therapy. Robert will be clear and directive to help you build more effective skills. As you evolve, Robert, artfully pulls back and gives you more space to try for yourself the new ways of relating you have been learning in therapy so that the positive changes last. Change and growth can be challenging, but Robert is here to help shine the light ahead, and to accompany you in your journey. A satisfying life is worth striving for!

Robert is a staff therapist with the Couples Institute in Menlo Park-–one of the leading couples therapy programs in the country. His interest in family systems and couples therapy goes all the way back to his earliest internship at a family therapy center prior to graduate school over 20 years ago. From almost the same time Robert has also been deeply influenced by the research and work of John Gottman, and has since been involved with Sue Johnson’s Emotionally Focused Therapy. Robert has also studied with and followed a number of other master therapists in the field such as Dan Wile, Terry Real, and Stan Tatkin, to name a few. He has taught at the graduate level at Alliant University, The Wright Institute, and currently teaches couples therapy at the University of San Francisco. Robert keeps up on research and has many different tools to offer, and ways of helping you improve your relationship.

Robert especially enjoys working with premarital or early-relationship couples, tech-people, and artists. But if you’re not in one of those groups please call Robert anyway as he loves working with all kinds of individuals and couples, including same-sex partners.

Robert's Online Reviews:

"Ed and I are doing really well.  We are still benefiting from all of your wisdom.  We have begun to plan a wedding and are very excited about it.  I know the importance of working on our relationship is MORE than focusing so much energy into one day.  So the wedding will be small and simple!  We will keep you posted on how it is coming along!  We really cannot thank you enough for all of your help thus far.  You really need to know that you have really helped us tremendously.  So thank you!!!" - K&E

"We came to Dr. Solley because we wanted to be the couple that we always knew we could be, but between constant fighting and some bad habits, we were just not able to get there. Dr. Solley gave us several tools that not only improved our specific problems, but really supported our everyday communication. And he did so without asking us to overhaul our personalities. His sessions were comfortable, yet professional; his style was easy and his suggestions thoughtful. In the end, we feel that our relationship is stronger than ever before--and that the improvements we've seen are sustainable. Visiting Dr. Solley is one of the best choices we've made as a couple. Our only regret is that we didn't do it sooner." - R&C

"Despite some skepticism, my then fiancé and I decided to see Dr. Solley for some premarital counseling due to some frequent arguments in our relationship. From the outset, it was a comfortable forum in which we could bring up issues that had caused conflicts the preceding weeks. Dr. Solley’s coaching during the sessions showed us how to approach and discuss issues in a manner which minimized any risk of uncontrolled escalation and in a manner which also aided reaching an amicable resolution. I’m sure we’ll have ample opportunities to use the tools Dr. Solley gave us now that we’re hitched. Thanks Dr. Solley!" - Mr & Ms AG

"Dr. Solley helped us through some very difficult times in our relationship, and taught us useful and practical skills to use when challenges came up. He took the time to understand us individually and as a couple, and gave us the space we needed to grow." - Dr & Ms JJ 09-10

"We went to Dr. Solley for multiple months of marriage counseling and can highly recommend his services. He is great at facilitating helpful dialogue and we found the sessions to be both enjoyable and productive. He provides great tools and feedback and it's easy to be comfortable with him. In addition, he is extremely organized and responsive to changing needs. We were completely impressed with our sessions and have recommended him to many friends since." - N&M2 ‘11

"Dr. Solley is great! He was a huge help for my fiance and I in helping to avoid falling into our occasional negative cycles and instead developing more positive ways of resolving issues. I can't reccomend him or his process more highly!" - C&P ’09-‘11

"Dr. Solley is a talented and helpful counselor. He treated me with respect. I felt he was genuinely concerned about what I was going through and guided me with professionalism and insight. I highly recommend him." - Google

"Dr. Solley helped us figure each other out in a way that we could never have done. Through his compassionate, easy to relate to, positive methods, we were able to better understand each other's thoughts and tendencies, communicate with and show appreciation to each other, and start the process of individual therapy to explore our own issues that came up during the counseling sessions. His coaching, methods and, most importantly, attitude, were extremely helpful for our relationship and individual betterment. Thanks Dr. Solley!" - Google

Robert's Training:

  • Ongoing EFT consultation group with Rebecca Jorgensen, PhD
  • 2/2015: Working with Pathogenic Affects – AEDP – 6 hrs.
  • 1/2015: Multigenerational Trauma in Couples Therapy – Terry Real – 5 hrs.
  • 12/2014: Neurophysiology of Addiction – 6 hrs.
  • 6/2014: Infidelity in Couples Therapy – Terry Real – 4 hrs.
  • 2/2014: Mindfulness Self-Compassion w Kristin Neff – 26 hrs.
  • 9/2013: Live Demo w Stan Tatkin – 6 hrs.
  • 4/2012: Can We Operationalize Empathy? – AEDP – 4 hrs.
  • 4/2012: Couples Conference – Ericson Foundation – 16 hrs.

Robert's License:

Licensed Clinical Psychologist in California, License Number 13105