Posts by Traci Ruble
Kids’ Feelings – A Parenting Manifesto
The reality is, if packs of kids are parenting themselves and the rest of us adults are not rolling up our sleeves, parent to parent, advocating for every kid who has gotten off track and helping them reset, then all we have left at the end of the day are perpetrators and victims. -Traci Ruble…
Championing Your Weirdness
“Life is short and celebrating who you are by championing your weirdness is pretty groovy once you get the hang of it!” – Traci Ruble Championing Your Weirdness by Traci Ruble, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist I have always been a little weird. You? As a young girl my family did not understand nor celebrate…
The Stigma Associated With Human Suffering and Mental Illness
Most Americans “catch” a mental illness at some point so there is no stigma for getting help. Ever heard of a little something called the DSM? It stands for the Diagnostics and Statistics Manual cataloguing all the mental disorders for diagnosing mental illness and for insurance billing use. The newest version came out in the…
What I Wish Sheryl Sandberg Had Titled Her Book
“Women with the Wild Woman archetype need to stop worrying or seeking validation by others. If women keep waiting to get the thumbs up that they will be liked for being powerful and wild then they will be waiting a long long time.” -Traci Ruble Admittedly, Sheryl Sandberg’s book Lean In titillated me. I guess…
Proud as PRIDE!
“Imagine, the most judged, most demeaned parts of yourself that you and others have spent a lot of time hating with impunity finally fully being embraced with PRIDE and a freakin’ parade!” -Traci RubleProud As Pride!by Traci RubleFifteen years ago I moved up to San Francisco from SoCal. When I arrived I fell in love with…
Yelling At Our Kids – A Co-parenting Dialogue
“So how the heck do we rewire our auto pilot parent setting and stop yelling at our kids? Shifting those inner beliefs from yesteryear, the high expectations, the comparing to other kids’ behavior, the social embarrassment of kids’ big feelings in public, the pressure from our extended families to parent the “old school” way, the…
How do we stop self sabotaging?
“…a self sabotaging story line is being formed and if the child is experiencing emotional pain they will hard wire an adaptive solution, usually not the wisest option from an adult’s perspective, to keep the psychological pain at bay – buried deep down in a cavernous mine of twists and turns, the cart racing on its…
No One Was Smiling Today: San Francisco Feeling The Boston Marathon Tragedy
“[In response to the Boston Marathon tragedy]… Whatever ‘ism’ is yours you may be lulled by it shortly- seduced to exclude parts of yourself or your community. Your biological drive to fend off mortality by clamoring for what you can get control over may take root and compassion will get thrown out the window.” -Traci…
Where are you? Where are you? Where are you?: Where Our Relating Stories Come From
“We tell relating stories to help us make sense of overwhelming experiences when we were little and it is smart and wise. Some of us are called to liberate ourselves from these stories in our lives and the call comes in pretty common ways – relationship struggles, depression, anxiety…” -Traci Ruble Where are you? Where…
4 Myths About Online Dating
“…it takes a certain kind of personality to enjoy the constant interaction, flirtation, and rejection that goes on [in online dating].” Julia Flood 4 Myths About Online Dating by Julia Flood, LCSW www.newstarttherapy.com Recently a reporter interviewed me for a piece they were doing on online dating. At first I was a bit stumped. As…
What is too needy?
Relating to our own needs and neediness is one of the core adaptations any human animal makes to ward off getting left by unpredictable care givers. The self reliant or desperate and clingy strategies are both tragic because the original hurt of abandonment happens again when the self reliant abandons him or herself or the…
Are You Above Average or Good Enough?
“The sacred act of listening to ourselves and each other wholeheartedly is increasingly taking back seat to our grabbing, catapulting ourselves ever faster for more of whatever that thing is that helps us feel “good enough”… When we give up racing to be better than average then we can experience ordinary and simple joy, connect deeply with ourselves…