Posts Tagged ‘Depression’
Everything Is Not Okay
“Just breathe. You’re okay.” No, I’m not okay. No, everything is not fine. And fuck you, it is not all just in my head. The pain in my chest, that is real. The dizziness and nausea, those are real. The vomit in the toilet, that’s real. The numbness of my lips and the sweat on…
Perfectionism’s Dark Side: Lessons from Japan
Until you’ve been to Japan, you have never really experienced attention to detail. Have you ordered a humble pour-over coffee? In every simple cafe in Kyoto, the experience is astonishing: it is liquid gold. Have you ordered a hasty tea while waiting for the train? In Kyoto station, the Matcha tea is served so elegantly…
The Way Out of Intellectualization
Lately, I’m finding lots of calm, rational, heady conversations stretching along my newsfeed. “I feel that Black Lives Matter makes an error in judgment when they….” “The Women’s March really doesn’t account for….” “Let me just play Devil’s Advocate here….” These are almost always white people, almost entirely male. They represent a common psychic defense:…
Depression and the Burden of Holiday Preciousness
[soundcloud url=”https://api.soundcloud.com/tracks/300215347″ params=”auto_play=false&hide_related=false&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false&visual=true” width=”100%” height=”450″ iframe=”true” /] My family had hamburgers for Thanksgiving. In my case, as a vegetarian, I had a veggie burger. We had decided last year that the efforts of turkeypotatoesrollssomethingforthevegetariancranberrysausecornbreadetc was just too much, given that none of the family likes to stuff themselves, and the work takes days and is…
Surviving the Season: Dealing with Grief During the Holidays
Sleigh bells ring, are you listening? Or are you cringing? The holidays are upon us and along with the shopping, singing carols, and drinking eggnog often come feelings of loneliness and grief. For many people the holiday season is fraught with anxiety, frustration and sadness. I see many in my practice who dread December as…
Dear Trump Supporter Who Called Me a Cunt
This is what I know this morning, Post coffee, Pre wine, There is nothing like waking up to a private message from some guy you’ve never met, never had a one-night stand with, and whose profile picture is a cartoon version of himself. He felt the need to tell me IN ALL CAPS that I…
Screens and Self-Control
Modern society struggles with self-control around the use of devices and technology. At home, if you parent, these struggles intensify as adults and kids react with irritability, anger and hostility when interrupted on a device, or told to turn off a device to do homework, get dinner made or get to bed. “It’s like my…
Living and Loving with Borderline Personality Disorder
“One minute everything’s great, and the next minute she’s calling me fifty times in a row and leaving me these long messages about how badly I treat her.” “He makes me feel so awful about myself. He twists around what I say and makes me seem like such a horrible person. I can’t tell right-side-up…
The Dark Side of Motherhood: It Does Get Better
When I was pregnant with my son, I was was incredibly anxious during the entire pregnancy. I had miscarried before and was so worried that my heart would be broken again that I was on constant alert. I felt that if he was born, I would do everything in my power be a good mother.…
Social Comparison: How Do I Stack Up?
Living in San Francisco in 2016 is enough to make the most well-adjusted individual grapple with inadequacy. If you look around, you are likely to see many highly educated, successful, productive and intelligent people. These folks seem to have it all: money, fitness and health, attractiveness, successful careers, loving relationships, well-behaved children, and time to…
The Bubble Burst Already Happening in the Silicon Valley
Living in the Silicon Valley and being surrounded by the never-ending list of startups, stories of raising rents, successful IPOs, companies struggling to meet aggressive expectations, and employees being poached for crazy high salaries and luxurious benefits means that the question of when or if the bubble will burst is often coming up in conversation…
Depression and Faith
I surely would have been dead from depression years ago if I hadn’t had, and eventually cultivated, a basic faith in life. Which is a bit odd, since I grew up without any religious training or interest, to the degree that my mother called us “happy heathens.” Even my decades of Buddhist training and study…