Posts Tagged ‘Anxiety’
Everything Is Not Okay
“Just breathe. You’re okay.” No, I’m not okay. No, everything is not fine. And fuck you, it is not all just in my head. The pain in my chest, that is real. The dizziness and nausea, those are real. The vomit in the toilet, that’s real. The numbness of my lips and the sweat on…
“Do You Like Me?” and Other Questions You Want Your Therapist to Answer
Julie interrupts herself mid-thought, rolls her eyes and sighs. “You must be so sick of hearing me complain about the same thing every week.” She keeps her gaze up at the ceiling, afraid to look at me to receive my answer. This question is designed to elicit an, “of course not!” reply from friends, family,…
Is Your Therapist Too Nice?
“I’ve met the greatest girl,” John said. He was beaming. “She’s really hot. She’s 27, super smart. This weekend I’m chartering a yacht for us! Isn’t that awesome?” I just looked at him. This was his third “greatest girl” in six months. Each was 20-plus years younger than him—and all three were following quickly on…
EMDR and the Hero’s Journey, Part 3
Click here to view Part 1 of this series. Click here to view Part 2 of this series. Once dismissed as a fringe, new age-y therapy, EMDR therapy is now more likely to be described using phrases like cutting edge and essential in the treatment of trauma-related disorders. Since 2010, EMDR therapy has appeared…
Surviving the Trumpocalypse: Thoughts from an Immigrant Therapist
I watched the inauguration of Barak Obama in 2009 from my living room in Cape Town, South Africa. In my memory it is daytime, and the late afternoon sunshine is coming in through the glass sliding doors. There is a seven-hour time difference between Cape Town and Washington – Cape Town is ahead. My ex-patriot…
Dear Trump Supporter Who Called Me a Cunt
This is what I know this morning, Post coffee, Pre wine, There is nothing like waking up to a private message from some guy you’ve never met, never had a one-night stand with, and whose profile picture is a cartoon version of himself. He felt the need to tell me IN ALL CAPS that I…
Ask for Help!
On this, the eve of the most horrifying presidential election in my lifetime, I would like to take this opportunity to admit that I cheated my way through my Civics class in High School. I took those classes by “correspondence.” In that age this meant you received a textbook in the mail, and you mailed…
Living and Loving with Borderline Personality Disorder
“One minute everything’s great, and the next minute she’s calling me fifty times in a row and leaving me these long messages about how badly I treat her.” “He makes me feel so awful about myself. He twists around what I say and makes me seem like such a horrible person. I can’t tell right-side-up…
An Open Letter to Donald Trump from a Trauma Survivor and Trauma Therapist
Dear Mr. Trump: Your comments on Monday morning in response to a veteran’s question about mental health treatment at a Retired American Warriors PAC implied that only veterans who are not “strong” and “can’t handle it” develop post-traumatic stress disorder. Yes, I read the transcript of your entire answer and saw the clip; yes, I…
Growing Stones: The Process of Becoming Brave
We’ve all heard these misogynistic phrases to describe bravery and inner strength: “Man up,” “Grow some balls,” or “He’s got giant cohones.” According to these phrases, you’ve got to leave your fear out of the picture in order to be a strong man, which not only doesn’t add up– it’s also pretty alienating to have…
The Bubble Burst Already Happening in the Silicon Valley
Living in the Silicon Valley and being surrounded by the never-ending list of startups, stories of raising rents, successful IPOs, companies struggling to meet aggressive expectations, and employees being poached for crazy high salaries and luxurious benefits means that the question of when or if the bubble will burst is often coming up in conversation…
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder and “The Fear of Fear Itself.”
“So, first of all, let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” FDR’s famous line from his first inaugural address used to strike me as a universal truth. He describes fear as “nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance.” I…