Posts Tagged ‘mothering’
Addicted to Stuff: Helping Kids Learn to Let Go
For four years in college and four years after, everything I owned fit into a small space. Because I moved yearly, I lived simply. If I was tired of schlepping something between apartments, it was discarded. Like most people, once I stopped moving and settled in one place, I began to accumulate. Balancing my decisions…
Is Your Kid “Looping” On a Negative Thought?
As a family therapist, I often hear parents complain of a child who cannot move beyond an interaction, incident or situation, even when it has been addressed. In fact, the parent may have already listened, empathized with the emotion, and talked the issue out. An apology happened. Reassurance was provided. However, the child just cannot…
When It Always Has to be Your Way, No One Wants to Play: Using Proverbs to Teach Children
As any parent, educator or child counselor can tell you, children enjoy short, catchy and true phrases. However, in the heat of an emotional moment, it is hard to retrieve what we want to say. So, we often “do” before thinking. In addition to learning academics at school these days, children are taught relationship…
The Dark Side of Motherhood: It Does Get Better
When I was pregnant with my son, I was was incredibly anxious during the entire pregnancy. I had miscarried before and was so worried that my heart would be broken again that I was on constant alert. I felt that if he was born, I would do everything in my power be a good mother.…
Getting to Yes to Find My No: One Woman’s Story About Not Having Kids
I’ve decided that I’m not having kids. As with any decision, there are losses. Sometimes I have a pang of sadness but mostly, it feels right. I was never someone who just knew I wanted kids. In my 20s when friends would tell me about really feeling the desire to have a family, I’d ask…
Feeling the Pull: Dealing with Competing Needs for Happier Days with Your Kids
As fall approaches in the Bay Area, we never know what weather will come. Which is why, on a day as hot as this one was recently, a poor Gelato Scooper was scooping alone when there should have been two of him; and the line was stretched out the door. I’m sure his arm was aching,…
A Couples Therapist watches TV — Parenthood
Like many others, my wife and I are eagerly looking forward to tonight’s premiere of the new season of Parenthood, though with considerable wistfulness that it’s the final season. With our kids off to college, we forsook our basic cable last year for a streaming box. Not only are we saving nearly $100 a month,…
New Survey: Female Friendships After Motherhood
We are crafting an article about Female Friendships after motherhood and would like your input if you are a mother. Please take this 13 question anonymous survey. You have until October 30th to complete your responses. (Please note: one question truncated answer selections erroneously. Please do your best to answer.) Many Thanks!
Encouraging Discipline – Discipline that Helps Kids Grow
Left to my own devices, I am terribly afraid of making a mistake. Also, of getting it wrong, not knowing, and having to ask any question. A free-floating fear of punishment used to guide much of my decision-making. In fact, it took a lot of therapy for me to learn to keep those kinds of fears…
Discouraging encouragement: the kind of praise that doesn’t help
As I was ignoring my children and zoning-out on the old Facebook for a time recently, I found myself considering a post from the Conscious Discipline feed. Conscious Discipline is all about attuning to our kids and bringing them up – can you guess? – consciously. It’s a wonderful resource for parents, for teachers and…
The psychology of fertility
When Jennifer Seibel Newsom’s documentary Miss Representation came out in 2011, I watched it four times, recruiting as many friends as I could. Why? Because it captured something—in a fact-based way—about the chauvinism that lingers in our society, despite the advances we have made. A synopsis of the film says this, “In a society where media is…
On “Being There” Or Being “Worthily Unbalanced”
Moms aren’t supposed to get angry or bored. We’re supposed to cherish every minute with our kids, we’re supposed to be patient, sunny, and flexible, but most of all, be there. “You were always there for me, Mom” is the ultimate good-mom talisman, the movie line that chokes us up. Its vagueness connects with its…