Posts Tagged ‘Emotions’
Is Your Therapist Too Nice?
“I’ve met the greatest girl,” John said. He was beaming. “She’s really hot. She’s 27, super smart. This weekend I’m chartering a yacht for us! Isn’t that awesome?” I just looked at him. This was his third “greatest girl” in six months. Each was 20-plus years younger than him—and all three were following quickly on…
Humanity Needs Empathy Now More Than Ever
What would the world look like without empathy? In a recent LA Times piece, Yale psychologist Paul Bloom opined that empathy is an overrated emotion, one that leads us into all manner of irrational choices and that ultimately leads to burnout. The capacity to put ourselves in each other’s shoes, he argues, is nothing more…
Stronger Together: The Search for Ground and Truth in the Aftermath of the Election
I have felt many sickening emotions since discovering that Donald Trump will be the next president of the United States: namely, shock, denial, despair, terror, panic, disgust, heartbreak, overwhelm. As Tuesday night unfolded, in addition to the above, I began to feel utterly alone. Awakening to the images of state after state turning red, voting…
What the Hell is Self-Love Anyway?
Chances are you’ve heard about this magical thing called self-love and have been trying to get some. Self-love is supposed to give us all good stuff: the confidence to set boundaries at work, the motivation to find our life’s purpose, the ability to feel fulfilled and happy alone, and the guts to give our Mr.…
Eliminating “Negative Emotions”
“Suffering has been stronger than all other teaching, and has taught me to understand what your heart used to be. I have been bent and broken, but – I hope – into a better shape.” – Charles Dickens, Great Expectations “Without evil there can be no good so it must be good to be evil…
Five things Pixar’s Inside Out Gets Right, According to a Psychologist-Mom
Last weekend I went to the movies with my preschooler. It was a special theater adventure into which we snuck in a large purse full of popcorn. As the lights dimmed and the light-up crocks flashed, we heard lots of excited children exclaiming “It’s starting!” and some not-so-happy babies sharing in their preverbal, but easily…
Preschool as Therapy: 5 great ideas for adult wellness
1. All feelings are allowed. At my child’s preschool, they have a saying: You have to get the bad feelings out to let the good feelings in. In therapy, we know there are no “bad” feelings. However, feelings such as anger, sadness and hurt don’t feel good, and they need expression. To express your true…
A Couples Therapist watches TV — Parenthood
Like many others, my wife and I are eagerly looking forward to tonight’s premiere of the new season of Parenthood, though with considerable wistfulness that it’s the final season. With our kids off to college, we forsook our basic cable last year for a streaming box. Not only are we saving nearly $100 a month,…
How to find answers in your feelings
As a therapist, I will tell you a big secret – the most important question I ask is “How did that make you feel?” Yeah—a running joke for we’ve all heard—all you have to do is say that phrase on repeat to be a therapist. But in practice it is the hardest question for most…
Fog and Mood: everyday invitations to deeper feeling
“The weather and my mood have little connection. I have my foggy and my fine days within me; my prosperity or misfortune has little to do with the matter.” —Blaise Pascal “Everything that irritates us about others can lead to an understanding of ourselves.’ —Carl Jung The fog of a mood San Francisco’s foghorns were…
Anger is your friend: the restoration of anger
When it was almost time for the Jewish Passover, Jesus went up to Jerusalem. In the temple courts he found people selling cattle, sheep and doves, and others sitting at tables exchanging money. So he made a whip out of cords, and drove all from the temple courts, both sheep and cattle; he scattered the…
Just get over it vs. I love you and I am with you
I have two young sons and sometimes one of them will throw a knock-down-drag-out-tantrum and I can feel the internal dialogue inherited from my family in my head screaming: “Shut up! Get over it kid!” Sometimes I am less than attuned, and while I don’t say “shut up,” my body posture or a flip comment probably…