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Posts Tagged ‘Acceptance’

Adventures in Internalized Prejudice

A few months ago, I went to a signing and Q&A at my local comic book store.  As soon as I entered the store I saw him, but I pretended that I didn’t. He sat in a power wheelchair, and was talking with friends who stood around him.  Maybe he had cerebral palsy?  I felt…

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You Really Screwed Up AND You Are Lovable

I teach listening and value empathy.  A lot. As Carl Rogers says, “[Empathy] just feels damn good.” (If you need a primer on empathy, here is a video that makes it fun and easy to learn about.) I want every human to experience as much good listening and empathy as possible because it is the…

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Is Your Therapist Too Nice?

“I’ve met the greatest girl,” John said. He was beaming. “She’s really hot. She’s 27, super smart. This weekend I’m chartering a yacht for us! Isn’t that awesome?” I just looked at him. This was his third “greatest girl” in six months. Each was 20-plus years younger than him—and all three were following quickly on…

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The Way Out of Intellectualization

Lately, I’m finding lots of calm, rational, heady conversations stretching along my newsfeed. “I feel that Black Lives Matter makes an error in judgment when they….” “The Women’s March really doesn’t account for….” “Let me just play Devil’s Advocate here….” These are almost always white people, almost entirely male. They represent a common psychic defense:…

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Power Play: Kindness in (Literally) Dark Times

These are dark days. The Winter Solstice is still a week away, so the days are literally growing darker. In the Bay Area, much needed rains, the horrific deaths of 36 beautiful souls in the Ghost Ship fire, the impending doom of the imminent president elect, and the ongoing battle for sacred lands at Standing…

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Working While Outraged

It’s only been two weeks, y’all. For me, at this point, the intensity of my own outrage is in conflict with my rationalization that we’re in a very long game. To be honest, it’s draining. Even though I’m talking about the Trumpocalypse (and yes, assuming that most readers here share my political leanings), “outrage” may…

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How a Therapist Handles Her Inner Critic

When I was a younger adult, I had a scathing inner critic. It caused me all kinds of problems, which I handled in various maladaptive (read self-destructive) ways. That harsh internal voice mostly riddled me with anxiety which was so uncomfortable I looked for different ways to avoid feeling it–like partying, often with people I…

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