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Posts Tagged ‘Parenting’

Addicted to Stuff: Helping Kids Learn to Let Go

For four years in college and four years after, everything I owned fit into a small space. Because I moved yearly, I lived simply. If I was tired of schlepping something between apartments, it was discarded. Like most people, once I stopped moving and settled in one place, I began to accumulate. Balancing my decisions…

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Is Your Kid “Looping” On a Negative Thought?

As a family therapist, I often hear parents complain of a child who cannot move beyond an interaction, incident or situation, even when it has been addressed. In fact, the parent may have already listened, empathized with the emotion, and talked the issue out. An apology happened. Reassurance was provided. However, the child just cannot…

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Convey Hope for Children in Challenging Political Times

As parents and those who work with or care for children, we can agree that children should not be exposed to all adult conversations. Most adults try not to swear in front of kids or discuss parenting topics that could alarm or cause misunderstanding. The developing brain is not cognitively mature. Therefore, kids cannot understand…

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Is Your Therapist Too Nice?

“I’ve met the greatest girl,” John said. He was beaming. “She’s really hot. She’s 27, super smart. This weekend I’m chartering a yacht for us! Isn’t that awesome?” I just looked at him. This was his third “greatest girl” in six months. Each was 20-plus years younger than him—and all three were following quickly on…

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The Dark Side of Motherhood: It Does Get Better

When I was pregnant with my son, I was was incredibly anxious during the entire pregnancy.  I had miscarried before and was so worried that my heart would be broken again that I was on constant alert.  I felt that if he was born, I would do everything in my power be a good mother.…

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Mothers Rising Strong: A Manifesto & Short Film

When I became a mother nine years ago, I underestimated what a big deal it was.  I remember a friend without children said to me “I don’t understand why becoming a mother is such a radical life transformation.  There are other experiences in life that I think are just as monumental.”  She may be right.…

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Back to School: Mom Friendships on the Schoolyard

There’s so much comfort and relief that comes with the crisp whispers of fall as we ease back into routine: knowing what’s on the family agenda everyday; and that old friend, solitude, who’s been on vacation these last three months. But getting back into the swing of school means getting back into the social scene…

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Don’t Let Your Child Take the Lead

At times parents can find parenting extremely frustrating. “Why can’t they just stop?” We ask. “Why doesn’t she listen?” When we are really frustrated and don’t know what else to do to help the situation, we scream at them to “STOP” throwing a tantrum. The problem is, we expect the child to calm down before we…

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To Have or Have Not: Regretting the Child Choice

“I don’t think I would… No. Sometimes, I do.” Olivia,* was silent for a long moment. It hung between us, this silence. Then, finally, “If I could wave a magic wand and make this all go away, I would.” Were she talking about kidney stones, or credit card debt, we would all nod along, reassured…

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HOW TO GIVE A TIME-OUT: GIVE A TIME-IN INSTEAD

Think about how you feel when you’ve had a bad day and you snap at your partner. What helps you get back on track? Being shunned, or loving understanding? Kids are the same, and need even much more loving connection than adults do because they have not yet developed the skills to stay self-regulated all the time.

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