Posts by Molly Merson
Living and Loving with Borderline Personality Disorder
“One minute everything’s great, and the next minute she’s calling me fifty times in a row and leaving me these long messages about how badly I treat her.” “He makes me feel so awful about myself. He twists around what I say and makes me seem like such a horrible person. I can’t tell right-side-up…
Growing Stones: The Process of Becoming Brave
We’ve all heard these misogynistic phrases to describe bravery and inner strength: “Man up,” “Grow some balls,” or “He’s got giant cohones.” According to these phrases, you’ve got to leave your fear out of the picture in order to be a strong man, which not only doesn’t add up– it’s also pretty alienating to have…
Social Media Self-Care: Setting Boundaries on Facebook
I admit it. I get a lot of my news from social media. I’m not just talking about the latest in cuddly animal videos (though my feed is certainly at the cutting edge of documenting the hilarious antics of our fuzzy friends). I truly mean that a significant portion of what I read and watch…
The Mourning After, Part II: Grieving a Disturbed or Absent Mother’s Death
When your mother dies before you have a chance to heal from the wounds of childhood, it feels far from a short-lived and surmountable bereavement. You can feel sucked into a depression that seems endless and repeating, and hard to shake. In every new relationship or opportunity, there always seems to be something missing. You…
The Mourning After, Part I: Grief after Mother’s Day
If you’ve read any of my previous writing, you will know I have a great reverence for the unconscious. It shows up again today, having accidentally chosen May 9, 2016, as my publication date – the day after Mother’s Day. This may seem on the surface to have all the depth of a Hallmark card,…
Connecting the Dots: On Ladybugs, Psychoanalytic Psychotherapy, and the Universe
Today in my own therapy, I noticed a ladybug crawling up the window. “There’s a ladybug on the window,” I said. The session continued. I kept associating, thinking, talking, and feeling. I noticed the ladybug fly away. “The ladybug flew away,” I said. “What is your association with ladybugs?” asked my therapist. “Well… they’re cute.…
David Bowie and Embracing Weirdness in Therapy
David Bowie died last week, at the age of 69, after living with cancer for 18 months. It hit me harder than I had expected. I think part of my grief came from shock and disbelief, since a general consensus among my friends is that none of us believed David Bowie could ever die. He…
Getting Comfortable With Boundaries: How (And Why) To Say No
Does saying “no” make you feel guilty? If so, you’re not alone. Maybe the idea of saying no, especially to close friends and family, makes you feel nervous about what the other person will think of you. Maybe you feel anxious that they’ll be upset with you, or that your boundary will hurt them somehow.…
Getting Comfortable with Discomfort, Part II: Relationship Triggers
In my first piece about getting comfortable with discomfort, I talked about painful triggers that White folks can have when confronted with systemic racism and White supremacy. Guess what- there are so many more ways we can be triggered, especially in our romantic relationships! I can hear your excitement now. Um- yay, relationship triggers? Well,…
“Uh, That was Racist”: Getting Comfortable with Discomfort.
Okay, I’m going to say this right up front: Not all discomfort is worth putting up with. Sinking stomach; sweaty palms; hot cheeks; the hair prickling on the back of your neck. The anger you feel after someone cuts you off in traffic or the quickened pace of your heartbeat when you walk home alone…