Posts by Carol Gould
The check-in: an exercise to nurture intimacy and the tolerance of deep connection
In my experience working with couples, it’s not uncommon to find that partners have a considerable difference in their need or tolerance for emotional contact and intimacy. One partner may be more emotionally expressive and generally talkative, while the other may be less emotionally expressive and less comfortable with one-to-one contact with their partner. Contrary…
Getting to “The Good Part” of Therapy
When I was much, much younger than now, my mom would drive me to the airport for my return flight to California after a visit with my family on the east coast. The trip to the airport was about 20 minutes. Inevitably we would get into a very intense and personal conversation where I would…
When Is It Time To Stop Therapy?
Ideally, the decision to end is one that’s initiated by the client and mutually agreed upon by client and therapist, after a period of discussion. Ending consciously and with intention can be a very powerful and emotional experience, as ending therapy is actually ending a very important and intimate face-to-face relationship. – Carol Gould When Is…
When Your Good Therapist Turns “Bad”
“We desperately want to feel understood and cared for, but the people in our lives don’t always “get” what we’re trying to communicate….These “empathic failures” are actually a great opportunity to heal your childhood wounds by talking about them, rather than withdrawing.” – Carol Gould So, you’ve been in therapy for a while. Perhaps…
The Power of the Therapeutic Relationship
Long-term depth-oriented psychotherapy is based on the notion that development is a relational process. Most people who come to therapy have had a less-than-optimal family environment where the development of the Self was thwarted. In long-term therapy, the therapist provides the client with a sort of “stand-in” experience for the parent who wasn’t adequately attuned to their child Self.