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Posts by Elizabeth Sullivan

Retreating

” If families were afforded compensation for work at home–we could use the payments to buy rest, retreating time, time off, help, support, therapy, healthy food, and all the things people need to feel happy and good.” – Elizabeth Sullivan   Years ago I worked as  community organizer in urban parks around San Francisco. There…

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The Hero’s Journey Through Everyday Life

Perhaps it’s not the surprise that brings us joy, but the way that when we are walking around worried and anxious, in a kind of defensive crouch–a happy little surprise breaks through that armor. We get an almost child-like thrill for a second because we momentarily forget to be worried or grumpy, and it introduces…

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Developing "Mother Development"

“Mother development might help us normalize certain feelings, experiences and stages that many healthy mothers go through.” – Elizabeth Sullivan  A mother may always be a mother; but what about the woman whose children have grown and left her daily care? One part of the job of a mother is to anticipate and facilitate not…

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Giving Notice: The Gift Economy of Happy Couples

“And so this muscle must be flexed and cultivated [by happy couples], this “getting”  muscle–getting the other person.” – Elizabeth Sullivan   What really happens in a marriage, in the private, daily life of a happy couple? There are years together, days, hours, minutes, and milestones, stories, symbols. I think one reason I love counseling…

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The Third Shift: Being Adults Together

“…people in marriages with kids [are] developing emotional distance: not confiding or connecting very much, and letting it go on without repair. Divorce is still very high, even though gender is shifting and women are fulfilled by work and men are more involved parents–the missing ingredient may be adult intimacy in the family.” – Elizabeth…

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Perspective and Gratitude

“But this is not another essay about how you should be grateful and compassionate. Or maybe it is. Maybe it’s an essay about how to be grateful, not gratitude through the spiritual bypass of pretending not to feel what you feel but through occasional humble attention to what is going on around us.” -Elizabeth Sullivan The other…

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Honesty Between Moms

“…It’s brutal to feel like you aren’t a good mom–though many great moms feel this way. Sadly, we are often walking around feeling inadequate and discouraged. Honesty with other moms is one of the deepest salves to “Mom-Envy” that I know.” -Elizabeth Sullivan I was out for coffee the other day with an dear friend. Our…

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From Mom-Envy to "Schadenf-abulous"

Photo by: Elizabeth Sullivan “In my work with mothers, I find a particular, stinging brand of envy–envy of other moms. Many great mothers are convinced that they are the only one who is feeling so overwhelmed and isolated–so cross and so exhausted.”   -Elizabeth Sullivan, Registered Marriage and Family Therapist Intern  Envy sucks. It’s one…

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