Posts by Julia Flood
Getting Your Money’s Worth in Therapy
Image courtesy of twobee at FreeDigitalPhotos.net “The way to have a successful and rewarding couples therapy experience involves you becoming an active partner in the process—being willing to address hot button issues, setting and pursuing goals for yourself, and listening to your partner’s challenging viewpoints with an open attitude. “ – Julia Flood, LCSW Getting…
The Benefits Of Saying “Ouch”
Image courtesy of Stuart Miles/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net Vulnerability goes against our grain. When we feel hurt or embarrassment, the last thing we want is the other to see this. But if you can find the courage to speak of your own experience and feeling, rather than declaring things about what your partner is doing wrong, they…
The 3 Questions That Might Get You Closer To What You Really Want
How Answering 3 Questions Might Get You Closer To What You Really Want by Julia Flood, LCSW I recently participated in a couples workshop by renowned couples therapist Dr. Peter Pearson, and although I was there in the role of a support therapist, my personal takeaway was huge. Sometimes it’s the little things that stick…
Self-Esteem is Overrated
“Many of us spend considerable mental energy evaluating whether or not we are “good” people, pointing out all the good things we’ve accomplished each week, and why we therefore can feel good about ourselves. The problem is that since these good feelings are performance-based, any moment of “slacking” provides fodder for negative self-judgment that is…
How To Ask For What You Need
…how can we ask for what we need without jeopardizing our relationships?
How To Ask For What You Need
“…how can we ask for what we need without jeopardizing our relationships?” How To Ask For What You Need by Julia Flood, LCSW We all know people who always make sure their own ducks are in a row, regardless of the fallout for anyone else. In German we have an expression for that, roughly translatable…
A Letter To My Twenty-Something Self
A Letter To My Twenty-Something Self by Julia Flood, LCSWLately I’ve been seeing a lot of young professionals in my practice, and there’s a pattern I notice over and over: Despite being in the prime of their lives, and having landed that cool tech job, they tell me they are worried. They wonder if “this is…
Couples Therapy: The Art of Teaching Connection
“…couples relationships undergo developmental stages, beginning with a necessary symbiosis between partners that accounts for the strong feeling of bonding so typical of the first 6 months or so. In this phase individual differences are barely noted or seem to have very little significance. Most couples starting therapy find themselves in the process of emerging…
How Can I Change My Partner?
“Everybody has things in their relationship that they wish their partner would change. The trouble is that suggesting those often doesn’t give us the response we are hoping for. Some couples need a third party to help them navigate these types of delicate conversations.” – Julia Flood How Can I Change My Partner? by Julia…
The Truth About Lies
“As a couples therapist, one situation I’m confronted with often is when a relationship is shaken up by the discovery of a lie. It’s not always infidelity, but that is a classic example. In that first session with a couple who sees me after the discovery of an affair, both partners usually agree on what…