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Posts by Melissa Fritchle

Let Sex Bring You Closer

Would it surprise you to know that as a Sex Therapist I see fewer clients who are selfish lovers and many more that are too selfless? And by that I mean that they are paying attention to a heck of a lot of things, but not so much to themselves. For most of us, when…

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Romance Hangover

Romance Hangover – When the things you thought would get you in the mood actually left you feeling sluggish, irritable, and generally disappointed. Oh, and mildly ashamed. Welcome to the day after Valentine’s Day! Seriously, why is it so hard to create satisfying romantic moments on demand? Consider how we developed our early ideas of…

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The Gifts of Disillusion

None of us can know when the rapid and forceful shifts of disillusion will enter our life. Many in our country are going through a sudden disillusionment since the election, realizing troubling realities. As a couple’s therapist I witness the disillusionment of a newly broken heart, sitting with a couple as one turns to the other…

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Easier to Give Than to Receive

Experiment here with me for a moment… I want you to imagine someone you love sitting in front of you. Now imagine sending love towards them. How do you send those love vibes out? Do they come through your eyes, from your heart space, from your gut? Does it feel easy to do this? Familiar?…

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Tell Me Who I Am 

As fresh little beings in the world, unable to walk, run, even see far around us, we needed to look to others to help us make sense of the world. Babies instinctively seek out faces around them to get cues as to how they should feel – There was just a loud noise; should I…

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Seeking Forgiveness

In the past few years, as I have worked more and more with couples in therapy, I have become interested in the notion of forgiveness. How exactly does someone truly release the hurt caused by another and begin to trust again? In all honesty, the way I had been exposed to forgiveness turned me off.…

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The Things We Cannot Change

Sonya is saying that there is more to process. She and her partner are here for couple’s therapy, after a fight that has left them both tense and guarded for days now. We are attentive, her partner and I, both listening, but I sense we each have some confusion now. Sonya is tearful, forehead tight,…

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A Sex Therapist Talks to Baby Boomers about Sex

When I was a teenager (not exactly the good old days) I had disdain for most popular culture of the 80s and instead I longed for the mythical 60s, a time when baby boomers were free and liberal and apparently dancing naked in the mud. This was in contrast to my young adult events, such…

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