|Tom Rhodes, MFT|
Authored by: Tom Rhodes, MFT
I am moved to let this first blog post happen on its own, quite simply, to create something out of nothing. My increasing sense in living this life moment by moment, day by day, is that this is what happens anyway. I’m just moved to bring conscious attention to it in the context of writing a blog. This moment, this life, this very blog entry as I type it; something out of nothing. It looks like my deepest, most authentic inner movement, if I let myself be truly honest right now, is to engage this inquiry of ‘What’s actually happening here?’ If I let this nothingness speak, what will come of it? This, not coincidentally, is also a fundamental driving force and interest in my role as a therapist sitting with clients. Other blogging ideas came this morning, and they are all for the moment shelved, in little ethereal incubators, fated to either die on the vine, or have life breathed into them at a future date, to then be born. Or not..
If I let this pregnant aliveness take over, and trust it, trust myself to be it, and that I already am it, what’s that like? My passion is stirred to write a bit about this ‘something out of nothing’ experience because I so often experience sitting in therapy sessions and connecting with clients as a spontaneous embodiment of this nothingness or emptiness. The session begins as pure potential, and unfolds moment by moment, ever fresh and unfolding just as it does. In my experience, there is something very vital and rich that happens when this moment is surrendered to just as it is, as a therapist, as a client, a writer or a reader, in any role really. To get curious about and bring attention to who or what is playing a given role, or where do these roles spring from, THAT to me is where the juice is. We often live in our heads and the thoughts that fill them, and miss so much of what is already here before us, missed I think in part because it is so close, like a fish asking, “Where the hell’s the water I’m parched?!”. To stay with what is happening here and now, as I sit here and write, I notice the words just present themselves, as thought-forms emanating out of this formless, nameless thing/no-thing that I am, more accurately a verb than a noun, coming back to this pure and pregnant potential. If I don’t consult the past or the future for just a moment, and set my attention and curiosity on ‘what is this here, now’?, I would offer that what is found, although it cannot be named or trapped in a box as ‘object’, can be experienced subjectively firsthand, and may just be what we are all looking for, and even yearning for in our relationships, our lives, and our hopes and dreams. And, of course, it can be fun and deeply satisfying to engage in these relationships, hopes and dreams too! However, we can also get utterly lost in them, and this beautiful and vital energy gets missed out on.
Finally, this creative impulse and warm, vast ocean of energy that seems to come out of nowhere is, in my experience, the same impulse and energy that connects with a client in a session, and I am learning more and more to trust it deeply. It is one of my dearest passions in life to facilitate the deepening of this integral self-trusting in a client as I deepen into my own trusting of myself. This ‘self’ does not seem to be static, but rather, alive and ever-shapeshifting, yet perfectly still and silent at the core. I invite you to join me in this innocent, vital and curiosity-infused inquiry into what the hell this is that we all are!