THE REAL YOU
I Advanced Confidently in the Direction of my Dreams and Found Myself in a Tap Dance Class on a Wednesday Afternoon
“If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.” Henry David Thoreau What are we calling the “Rat Race” these days? Whatever it is, I’m heavy into it. I work as a full-time nurse…
Dream Interpretation: Wisdom or Waffle?
Dream interpretation has been practiced throughout recorded history, but does it have a place in modern mental health treatment? The earliest recorded dream interpretation dates back to Mesopotamia. In ancient Greece, the sick would sleep among non-venomous snakes in temples honoring Asclepius. In the morning, they would report their dreams to priests, who would then…
Apartheid and Trump, or Gas Station Confrontation
I recently heard an excellent speaker—an older gay man who dedicated his life to advocating for children in the school system—talk about the importance of compassion in these fraught political times. “I grew up with the people who voted for Trump,” he said. “They are not my enemy. If we see each other as enemies…
Feminism and Eating Disorder Recovery: Full Women Have Full Feelings
Any woman who chooses to behave like a full human being should be warned that the armies of the status quo will treat her as something of a dirty joke. That’s their natural and first weapon. She will need her sisterhood. –Gloria Steinem Have you ever been afraid of being called “The B word”? I…
Depression and the Burden of Holiday Preciousness
[soundcloud url=”https://api.soundcloud.com/tracks/300215347″ params=”auto_play=false&hide_related=false&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false&visual=true” width=”100%” height=”450″ iframe=”true” /] My family had hamburgers for Thanksgiving. In my case, as a vegetarian, I had a veggie burger. We had decided last year that the efforts of turkeypotatoesrollssomethingforthevegetariancranberrysausecornbreadetc was just too much, given that none of the family likes to stuff themselves, and the work takes days and is…
Should I or Shouldn’t I? Making Difficult Decisions
Ryan* was up at 3am again, dreading her upcoming trip to visit her family with her boyfriend. He understood her better than any other partner she’d had, the sex was good, they lived together well, but she was often disappointed. They had few common interests, he didn’t add much to the conversation when they got…
Surviving the Season: Dealing with Grief During the Holidays
Sleigh bells ring, are you listening? Or are you cringing? The holidays are upon us and along with the shopping, singing carols, and drinking eggnog often come feelings of loneliness and grief. For many people the holiday season is fraught with anxiety, frustration and sadness. I see many in my practice who dread December as…
How a Therapist Handles Her Inner Critic
When I was a younger adult, I had a scathing inner critic. It caused me all kinds of problems, which I handled in various maladaptive (read self-destructive) ways. That harsh internal voice mostly riddled me with anxiety which was so uncomfortable I looked for different ways to avoid feeling it–like partying, often with people I…
The Trauma of the Bisexual Experience
We bisexuals are used to receiving messages—explicit and implicit—from the world surrounding us. Some classics? There’s no such thing as bisexuality. You’re just confused and trying to sort things out. You’ll have sex with anyone to get what you want. You have the privilege of getting to “pass.” All of these messages can install damaging…
How do you know you need help? Living Through the Gray Zone of Disordered Eating
Take a moment to think about how you think about how you eat. How do you decide what you want? How do you decide what you need? What do you say to yourself when you eat a cookie? What do you say to yourself when you eat a salad, pizza, french fries, processed foods, organic…
Intuitive Eating: A Political Act of Radical Self-Love
We live in a world that teaches us in countless ways not to trust ourselves and, even further, not to love and accept ourselves as we are. The moneymaking machine that is industry in the United States profits greatly from each of us being dissatisfied with who and how we currently are. If we loved…
Growing Up (Together)’s a Bitch
A couple sat in my office recently, struggling with an issue that was beginning to feel familiar. They were both missing the olden days where they felt more in love and excited about each other, before kids came along and changed everything. Having to learn how to relate to each other anew had been driving…