Posts Tagged ‘self compassion’
A Message to the Last Single Lady in San Francisco
Many of us have been witness to the confusing phenomenon, which I will call the Accidental-Man-of-My-Dreams Syndrome, or AMMDS for short. It goes like this: Your best friend (or colleague or younger sister, or other single lady), declares she isn’t all that interested in settling down. She is happy focusing on the job that she…
Statements of Self: searching for “true self”
It’s a funny thing that you know you’re doing good work in therapy when your language gets really simple, almost childish. Which is ironic, because studying to be a therapist means you have to learn a lot of pretentious jargon. Therapists go to conferences and, depending on what style of therapy we practice, we talk about…
Sharing the Shame
Mortified: connecting with others to find relief from shame When I was 15, I wrote some pretty silly things in my diary (because I was 15). When I was 17, I went back through those entries and edited them, leaving critical comments about my intelligence and maturity as a 15 year old. Actually, a big chunk…
The psychology of fertility
When Jennifer Seibel Newsom’s documentary Miss Representation came out in 2011, I watched it four times, recruiting as many friends as I could. Why? Because it captured something—in a fact-based way—about the chauvinism that lingers in our society, despite the advances we have made. A synopsis of the film says this, “In a society where media is…
Self-compassion in five words
Self-compassion is at the heart of my personal and professional life, and when people ask me how it got there, I usually say that it was through my meditation practice. It’s true that sitting for years on a consistent basis (when I’m tired, anxious, joyful, frustrated and everything else) showed me a lot about the…
How to date without losing yourself: five fierce self love tools for women
Been on any good dates lately? Whether you’re swiping, winking, or chatting, one thing that most of us can agree on is that dating can really mess with your emotions; one week you are riding the wave of a potential connection, full of hope, your imagination launching into a future together; the next you are…
Finding Our Way Back Home: Simple Tools for Inner Peace
Our lives lead us through many different stages. Some stages of our lives can feel easy and effortless. Others can feel tinged with conflict, difficulty, or unexpected change. While we can often find states of grace in the expansive, heady times, it can be difficult to find our own goodness when life takes a turn.…
On “Being There” Or Being “Worthily Unbalanced”
Moms aren’t supposed to get angry or bored. We’re supposed to cherish every minute with our kids, we’re supposed to be patient, sunny, and flexible, but most of all, be there. “You were always there for me, Mom” is the ultimate good-mom talisman, the movie line that chokes us up. Its vagueness connects with its…
Self-Compassion and Love – Agents of Change
When I hear the saying, “Treat others as you would like to be treated” I can’t help but think we should also say, “Treat yourself as you would like others to treat you.” I witness over and over again in the therapy office how unkind we can be to ourselves and how this lack of…