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Searching for the One that Got Away
Lily*, a driven, animated, and passionate 34 year-old designer, wants to be, do, and see everything that life has to offer. Whether she’s kicking with her friends, spending time with family or leading her design team, she’s 100% engaged. She’s driven when she has a goal and because she desires marriage and a family, she…
I Was the Caregiver, But I Didn’t Know How to Care
“I can’t,” he said, not moving. I held the fork in front of Marvin’s mouth and stopped, hovering. A spasm went down his arm and he knocked his wheelchair’s joystick. The chair shifted and bumped the table. He had been having extra trouble chewing today. I didn’t know what was wrong. I stared in fear.…
What I Learned When My Wife Broke Both Her Wrists
It’s amazing how many things we do with our hands every day that we take for granted. It brings up that old adage that you don’t know what you’ve got until you lose it. Through the grace and fortune of some of the best medical care on the planet, my wife, Elizabeth, will eventually get…
Don’t Quit Therapy Without Telling Your Therapist The Truth
The fleeting look of disappointment on B’s face told me everything I needed to know. “It’s okay. You have a lot of clients,” she said quickly, minimizing my error and implying that her story was not worthy of remembering. B had trusted me, taken risks with me, and I let her down. Now she could…
Do You Want Your Therapist To Tell You About Their Life?
My name is Dr. Jamie Marich. I own a successful psychotherapy practice and a company that offers creative, cutting-edge trainings to other helping professionals. Four of my books on recovery and healing are published and I’m putting the finishing touches on a fifth. I also have a dissociative disorder and struggle with bouts of persistent…
Why Am I Still Single?
“Ok, my friends say I’m too picky, so I lower my standards. I go out with the guy that’s short, bald and has cats. Because he has a great personality and I’m a personality person. So we have a great time, go out on a few dates and then he disappears. He ghosts me. Even…
“Do You Like Me?” and Other Questions You Want Your Therapist to Answer
Julie interrupts herself mid-thought, rolls her eyes and sighs. “You must be so sick of hearing me complain about the same thing every week.” She keeps her gaze up at the ceiling, afraid to look at me to receive my answer. This question is designed to elicit an, “of course not!” reply from friends, family,…
Adventures in Internalized Prejudice
A few months ago, I went to a signing and Q&A at my local comic book store. As soon as I entered the store I saw him, but I pretended that I didn’t. He sat in a power wheelchair, and was talking with friends who stood around him. Maybe he had cerebral palsy? I felt…
Give Love, Get Love: 7 Things I’ve Learned About Love Since My Divorce
Call me crazy, but I’m getting married again. It’s been almost 10 years since my divorce. Reflecting on the relationships of those years I can see that I’ve been through different phases: dating for a confidence boost (while being totally unavailable); trying to ‘keep it light’ (while being invested enough to get hurt); being in…
How to Deal with Toxic People
Call me naive, but I tend to assume the best about people. I see the good in most, usually without a lot of effort. Although I come from the “people are inherently good” camp, I’ve had my share of experience with toxic people. What do I mean by that? A toxic person is someone who…
Convey Hope for Children in Challenging Political Times
As parents and those who work with or care for children, we can agree that children should not be exposed to all adult conversations. Most adults try not to swear in front of kids or discuss parenting topics that could alarm or cause misunderstanding. The developing brain is not cognitively mature. Therefore, kids cannot understand…
You Really Screwed Up AND You Are Lovable
I teach listening and value empathy. A lot. As Carl Rogers says, “[Empathy] just feels damn good.” (If you need a primer on empathy, here is a video that makes it fun and easy to learn about.) I want every human to experience as much good listening and empathy as possible because it is the…