Posts Tagged ‘Emotional Health’
A Couples Therapist watches TV — Parenthood
Like many others, my wife and I are eagerly looking forward to tonight’s premiere of the new season of Parenthood, though with considerable wistfulness that it’s the final season. With our kids off to college, we forsook our basic cable last year for a streaming box. Not only are we saving nearly $100 a month,…
Discouraging encouragement: the kind of praise that doesn’t help
As I was ignoring my children and zoning-out on the old Facebook for a time recently, I found myself considering a post from the Conscious Discipline feed. Conscious Discipline is all about attuning to our kids and bringing them up – can you guess? – consciously. It’s a wonderful resource for parents, for teachers and…
How to find answers in your feelings
As a therapist, I will tell you a big secret – the most important question I ask is “How did that make you feel?” Yeah—a running joke for we’ve all heard—all you have to do is say that phrase on repeat to be a therapist. But in practice it is the hardest question for most…
The psychology of fertility
When Jennifer Seibel Newsom’s documentary Miss Representation came out in 2011, I watched it four times, recruiting as many friends as I could. Why? Because it captured something—in a fact-based way—about the chauvinism that lingers in our society, despite the advances we have made. A synopsis of the film says this, “In a society where media is…
Anger is your friend: the restoration of anger
When it was almost time for the Jewish Passover, Jesus went up to Jerusalem. In the temple courts he found people selling cattle, sheep and doves, and others sitting at tables exchanging money. So he made a whip out of cords, and drove all from the temple courts, both sheep and cattle; he scattered the…
Running with it: exercise and the inner critic
I was thinking about going for a quick jog the other night when my inner critic burst in. She wanted to remind me that I shouldn’t even bother if it’s going to be so short and probably slow (“is that even running?”). She said, “You’re always going to be fat and lazy. You’ll never look…
Self-compassion in five words
Self-compassion is at the heart of my personal and professional life, and when people ask me how it got there, I usually say that it was through my meditation practice. It’s true that sitting for years on a consistent basis (when I’m tired, anxious, joyful, frustrated and everything else) showed me a lot about the…
The check-in: an exercise to nurture intimacy and the tolerance of deep connection
In my experience working with couples, it’s not uncommon to find that partners have a considerable difference in their need or tolerance for emotional contact and intimacy. One partner may be more emotionally expressive and generally talkative, while the other may be less emotionally expressive and less comfortable with one-to-one contact with their partner. Contrary…
Energy theft: toxic forms of shame and guilt
[Democracy is coming] From the homicidal bitchin’/That goes down in every kitchen/To determine who will serve and who will eat. —Leonard Cohen, “Democracy” Sarah, 27, who is about to finish graduate school with a PhD in engineering, hates to call her mother…and does so, dutifully, and with dread, every week. Saturday mornings come with…
Do you remember?
Spring cleaning in the garage came to a premature halt the other day when I happened across a photo album from 1997. India. That’s me there, sitting for some morning journaling in cool mountain air. I can still remember that moment. I ended up traveling and living in India for the next several years, learning…
What is mental health?
It’s mental health awareness month in May and I think it apropos to define mental health. Of course, this is no easy task, as there are many different definitions of mental health. So what is mental health? You can watch this video clip or read on. Click here to download the Taking Care of Your Mind Worksheet to…
On choosing a psychotherapist (part 2 of 3)
In Part 1 of this series, I reviewed some of the various licenses and certifications that psychotherapists hold, as well as some of the similarities and differences between them; in Part 2, I will offer some ideas to consider when choosing a psychotherapist. A world of information We live in the information era. The World…